Tanjobi Negai
by Maliciously Creative
Summary: Birthday Wishes. It's Itachi's 21st birthday. What does he want for his birthday? Naruto of course! ItaNaru, onesided, KisaIta, NejiNaru and SasuNaru. Ties into my ofther fic, but can stand alone.


In honor of Itachi's birthday, I present my ItaNaru ficcie. That means Itachi and Naruto. Don't like, don't read and don't come crying to me. Flame me and not only will you be mocked, you will have to face the wrath of my ANBU guard K-chan. And probably Sekra since she likes this pairing so much.

**Beta Read by:** Wowie (Show her love!)

**Dedicated to:** Wowie for beta reading all my crap and being objective, K-chan because she's my Anbu and 'second in command' (can't forget that), Sekra because she thinks I'm funny and likes these kinds of fics, and all my reviewers. You guys are the best!

**Notes:** This fic ties into my other fic, Pokemon Master, Sasuke. But this fic can stand alone so reading PMS is not necessary. However, if you want to it'll make me very happy. Those of you reading PMS, don't have to read this either. But later on there will be and are references to the events in this fic. Details are at the end.  
Also, when I wrote this last year Sasuke had just taken off with the nasty snake man. So anything after that doesn't exist for this fic.

Tanjobi Negai – basically translates out to Birthday Wish. Negai means desire, hope, and something desired or hoped at least according to my dictionary.

My writing style for this fic is different from PMS. It's 3rd person ya'll, so be afraid. It was my first attempt at the time.

The full, un-castrated version can be found in my livejournal and (hopefully) soon in my deviantArt account. I suggest you read that version, because I like it best. XD This version is only about 6,400 words. The full and much more entertaining version is 8,245 words. So, go read it.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, not me. Heartbreaking, isn't it?

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**Warnings:**

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**- Yaoi – boy on boy, kids! Some may consider this Shota because Itachi is over 18 and Naruto isn't. I disagree because… well here 5-6 years ain't that big of a deal and it's not like Naruto's 12.**

**- Smutty – Detailed um… foreplay… **

**- Bad language**

**- Underage drinking**

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Tanjobi Negai (Birthday Wishes)

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It was a nice morning… just like most mornings in the Fire Country. But today wasn't just any morning. Today, it was Uchiha Itachi's birthday. And it wasn't just any birthday. It was his 21st birthday, which means he was now legal drinking age! Not that it had ever stopped him before. But now he wouldn't have to use genjutsu whenever he felt the need to get shit-faced.

Life was good for Itachi. His annoying family was dead except for his little avenger brother that never ceased to amuse him with his little attempts to avenge their clan. If Sasuke knew the truth about what had went down and why, he'd be thanking him right now. But for now it was too much fun driving his foolish little brother to the point of insanity and stupid moves. The best example of this was when Sasuke ran off to join that stupid, nasty, snake-man in an attempt to get more power.

Itachi quickly put an end to that as soon as he heard about it. Avenger or not, such behavior brought shame to the Uchiha name! There was no doubt their parents were rolling in their graves. Sasuke was not a happy little camper when Itachi came to drag him home. And when Itachi told him how disappointed he was and how pathetic he was for taking that path, it added insult to injury. It was fun, so life was good… at least that's what he thought.

However within seconds of waking up, he decided quickly that life indeed sucked ass and wondered what he ever did wrong to deserve this perverse twist of fate. Sure killing his family was bad, but they started it!

Poor Itachi had the misfortune to awaken to see Kisame standing over him, holding a pink cupcake with a single candle sticking out of it. But that wasn't the most disturbing thing about it. Oh, no. Itachi wasn't that lucky. It was how Kisame was dressed.

"Happy birthday, Itachi-koi!" Kisame happily shouted.

Itachi's skin actually crawled when the stupid shark-man called him koi.

"Kisame, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Itachi asked on the verge of losing his icy calm.

"What do you mean, Itachi-koi? It's your birthday…"

"I know it's my birthday! And stop calling me koi you freak! Why the hell are you dressed like… that!" Itachi shouted as he finally lost it and his Sharingan flared to life.

For some bizarre and inexplicable reason, Kisame had dyed his hair blonde, drawn whisker marks onto his cheeks and was wearing an orange outfit that one usually found a certain loudmouthed ninja wearing. Kisame stared at the ground, fidgeting nervously as he finally answered.

"Well… I know you have a thing for the Kyuubi kid…"

"So you though I could delude myself and pretend you were him? Dream on. I want the real thing, not some bad imitation."

"I'm sorry Itachi-sama… make a wish?"

Kisame held out the cupcake again. The candle had already melted halfway onto the cupcake and it was going fast.

"Wishes are for fools," Itachi said as he blew out the flame.

But Itachi must have been a fool because he not only made one but several wishes!

'_I wish that stupid Kisame would stop trying to get into my pants.'_

'_I wish that I could get Naruto into my pants.'_

'_I wish Sasuke could actually offer me a challenge instead of being an annoying little pest.'_

'_I wish Orochimaru would stop sending me naked pictures of himself.'_

'_I wish I could get Naruto into my pants.'_

'_I wish I could get Naruto into my pants.'_

'_I wish I could get Naruto to writhe, moan and purr under me as I get into **his **pants! Yes… **his** pants.'_

A sexy smirk stretched across the Uchiha's lips. Not just because he was fantasizing about all the ways he wanted to molest Naruto but because that's all any Uchiha could manage once they became tortured, bad boys.

"Itachi-sama, is something wrong?"

After years of being partnered with Itachi, he knew that his sexy smirk wasn't always a good thing.

"No. Let's go, Kisame." Itachi quickly got up and started to quickly walk away from the campsite.

"Wait for me!" Kisame called to Itachi's quickly departing backside before catching up. "Umm… where are we going?"

"To Konoha."

"What! Why?"

"Because, it's my birthday." The evil, but oh so sexy Uchiha smirked.

**-x-x-x-x-**

Konoha's borders were in sight by lunchtime and by late afternoon they had entered the village gates. The two snuck in just as quietly as the last time, except there were no pissed off jounin's confronting them.

"So why are we here?"

"Naruto."

"Ah. Gonna try and get some birthday nookie, huh? Take advantage of poor little 'Naruto-kun'?" Kisame smirked lecherously.

"Don't be so base. You make it sound like I'm going to rape him."

"You aren't?"

"No."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"It's nothing that concerns you nor that you need worry about. Just keep Sasuke away."

And with that the two parted ways for the day; Kisame in search of the angsty Uchiha brat and Itachi in search of the too kawaii for his own good, Naruto. It wasn't long before Itachi found Naruto. Unfortunately he was with his big, whiny, crybaby of a little brother, Sasuke. Itachi frowned. They were talking instead of fighting for once. No! Could it be? Had Sasuke pulled his head out of his ass and won his Naru-chan's kawaii little heart? No! Life truly did suck! It wasn't fair!

"…usoratonkachi."

"Shut up you bastard! You don't know nothin'!"

Itachi smirked due to his tortured, bad boy status. Ah. The status quo was still in place. Sasuke appeared to be oblivious to his own feelings. Yes, it was going to be a very happy birthday for him. Sasuke walked away from the belligerent kitsune, smirking the Uchiha families' tortured, bad boy smirk.

"Yeah, that's right! Walk away! You know you're scared of me!"

"Whatever… usoratonkachi," Sasuke called back, his smirk widening.

"Argh! Son of a bitch! Ramen! That's what I need! Ramen always makes everything better!"

And with that Naruto stomped his way to Ichiraku, quietly followed by a very happy Itachi. Within minutes Naruto was sitting at the counter happily ordering his miso ramen. While he was waiting, Itachi stepped forward to stand behind the too kawaii for his own good, Naruto.

"Hello, Naruto-kun. It's been a long time."

Naruto spun around to face Itachi. Fear filled his wide, blue eyes as he realized who was standing behind him. Itachi thought it just made him look even yummier than normal. Being the powerful and disciplined shinobi he was, he restrained himself from pouncing on the boy and licking his neck to see if he really was as sweet as he looked. Instead he smirked as usual.

"You! What the hell are you doing here! Erosennin said you guys wouldn't be coming after me for four years, after I turn 16! It's only been three!"

"I'm not here on behalf of the Akatsuki."

"Huh? Then why…?" Naruto asked, a frown etched his forehead clearly confused.

"It's my birthday."

"What?" Naruto asked, still confused.

"It's my birthday."

"Why the hell did you come **_here_** for your birthday? You aren't exactly the most popular guy here, ya know."

Itachi quickly licked his lips, smirked and leaned down, nose to nose with Naruto. Looking straight into the huge pools of blue, he answered in a tone worthy of molesting Naruto on its own. It was deep, seductive… sexual.

"Because you're here… Naru-chan."

If at all possible, Naruto's eyes got wider and he squeaked out only one word.

"Me?"

Itachi laughed sexily as he swooped down, taking the seat next to Naruto and whispered into his ear.

"Yes, you."

A shiver of pleasure ran down a confused Naruto's spine as he felt Itachi whisper the words into his ear; his breath was warm as his lips grazed his earlobe. His heart beat wildly as he wondered if it would explode. Fortunately, Itachi spun back around before that could happen.

"Oi, oiji-san. Seafood ramen."

"You like ramen?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Depends on who I'm with." Itachi leered.

"Ah," Naruto said as he blushed furiously.

The two sat in silence as they waited for their orders. Naruto stared at the counter the whole time, focusing on one single spot while Itachi enjoyed his view of the kitsune.

"So… what exactly do you want with me?" Naruto finally asked, still concentrating on the counter before him.

"Nothing much… since it's my birthday, I thought I could spend some time with you."

"Why the hell would you want to do that?" Naruto blushed again as he fought the urge to spin around and face Itachi and his sexy smirk… and sexy, drool worthy body.

Itachi leaned down once again to whisper into Naruto's ear. And once again grazed his ear lobe and rested on it between sentences. Another uncontrollable shiver ran down his spine as he became more and more aroused much to his chagrin.

"Because Naru-chan, you're cute. It'll also piss Sasuke off to no end. I like doing that. It's fun," he purred, "But mostly it's because you're just so very, very, **_very_** cute."

And fuckable he mentally added when Naruto whimpered. Itachi bit his ear lobe lightly before kissing it just as gently and pulling away to rest his head on Naruto's tense shoulder.

"Today's my 21st birthday, Naru-chan. That's legal drinking age. I was hoping you would come and keep company tonight."

"Company…?" Naruto squeaked. The increasing nervous boy swallowed hard and asked, "Where?"

Itachi lifted his head from Naruto's shoulder. With a single finger he touched Naruto's chin and gently forced his head to turn and look at him. Once again he invaded Naruto's personal space as he put his face so close to Naruto's that his lips grazed the baffled and severely turned on kitsune.

"To the sake house of course," he answered in a purr.

Once again Naruto swallowed hard, his eyes as wide as a deer caught in some headlights, "If you… if you don't wanna be alone, why don't you go with Kisame?"

Itachi closed his eyes, his lips still barely touching Naruto's and answered, "I already told you, Naru-chan. You're cute. I want to look at something pretty, not Kisame's ugly mug."

"P-p-pretty?"

"And sexy," Itachi whispered as he lightly kissed Naruto's fiercely blushing cheek. "You've grown quite a bit these past 3 years. It's made you even more… desirable than before."

Suddenly Itachi pulled away and sat properly in his seat. Seconds later, their orders arrived. While Itachi ate as happily as he could, Naruto could only stare at his ramen. For the first time in the history of the world Naruto found himself unable to inhale his beloved ramen. Itachi smirked at the kitsunes' predicament.

"Are you going to come with me, Naru-chan? If you are, I suggest you eat up now. You should never drink on an empty stomach…"

"Drink? I can't drink! I'm not legal!"

"Aww, Naru-chan. You don't expect for me to drink alone, do you? A little sip here and there won't be too bad. However, if there's no food in your stomach to absorb it; it's going to hit you like a brick wall."

"Oh…"

Itachi reached up to caress Naruto's whiskers.

"So does that mean you'll come?"

"Okay…" Naruto answered, his voice a few octaves higher than normal and totally oblivious of what he just agreed to and with whom.

**-x-x-x-x-**

Two hours later, they had left Ichiraku after Naruto had only managed to get down 3 bowls of ramen at Itachi's prodding and coaxing. They leisurely made their way to the bar with Itachi walking very closely to the too cute for his own good kitsune.

Itachi found a small club style booth in a dark corner. He practically drooled in anticipation, but since he was an Uchiha he didn't. After all, he had an image to maintain!

'_This is perfect.' _Itachi thought to himself, _'Big enough to give Naruto some breathing room and small enough for me to creep closer as the night goes on and he gets a little more drunk. And most importantly, dark enough so no one will notice us.'_

Itachi led Naruto to the intimate booth, removed his cloak and took a seat. Naruto drooled ever so slightly as he got a look at what the cloak hid. Soon the barkeep came over to take their order.

"Good evening. What can I get you?"

"Sake; the best you have."

"And for you, sir?" The barkeep asked Naruto.

"He'll be having sake as well," Itachi answered for Naruto.

"I'm sorry sir, but he's not of legal age. I can't serve him sake."

Itachi shot the man the ultimate Uchiha death glare that promised death only after he was gutted and skinned alive.

"He's with me and we're having sake."

"Y-yes sir! Right away, sir!" he squeaked as he quickly scurried away.

"Whoa…" Naruto whispered wide-eyed, yet again. Hanging out with Itachi was certainly different he decided.

**-x-x-x-x-**

Kisame was closely watching Sasuke to make sure he didn't interfere. The whole thing was however educational for Kisame and he would definitely be sharing what he learned with Itachi. For example when Sasuke was training by himself, he would actually talk to himself! And it wasn't what most people might expect. He was practicing his comebacks for when he argued with Naruto. He also would create shadow bushin that looked just like Naruto and Itachi and had them complimenting him. Sasuke kept it up until about 8 o'clock when the sun started to set. Needless to say, Kisame was disturbed.

"Sasuke, you're so cool and sexy! I wish I could be like you," the Naruto clone said as he glomped the smirking Sasuke.

"Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry I called you foolish and weak. You're sooooo cool! Let's be pals and forget the past," the Itachi clone groveled on the forest floor.

"No. I'm an avenger! You're going down Itachi!" Sasuke yelled as he threw a kunai at the Itachi clones' head and 'killed' him.

"Oh wow, Sasuke! That was awesome… and so sexy!" the Naruto clone purred, "Will you let me make out with you?" the Naruto close begged.

"Sure." Sasuke smirked and they began to snog.

A few minutes later he pulled away and sighed sadly.

"It's not the same…" and the bushin poofed out of existence.

'_Well what do you know? The little brat has finally pulled his head out of his ass and caught a clue as to how he feels. Itachi is not going to like this…'_ Kisame thought, silently following Sasuke to his next destination.

Unknown to Kisame, Sasuke was on the move and looking for Naruto. He might not be able to kiss and grope him but pissing him off was almost as much fun. He was just so cute when he was angry! His blue eyes always intensified and deepened in color. It was a sight that always left him slightly breathless and made his heart flutter. Although he lived in fear of forgetting to control himself and make a move on his teammate, he couldn't help ticking the boy off. It was such a rush because it was during those moments that he alone had Naruto's attention. For a few minutes he became the center of Naruto's universe and he loved it.

Sasuke wandered the streets for over an hour looking for Naruto before heading to his apartment and then Ichiraku. He really should learn to come here first. After all, it was his kitsune's favorite place to eat and you could usually find him here, inhaling ramen as if there was no tomorrow. He entered and noticed Naruto was no where to be seen.

Before he had parted ways with him, he had heard Naruto shouting about ramen and how it fixed everything. So if he wasn't here, then where the hell was he? He wasn't at his apartment, he wasn't at the training grounds, he wasn't bothering Sakura… so where the hell was he?

"Oy, oiji-san. Has Naruto been here?"

"Yeah, he left with some guy. It was really strange too!"

"Huh?"

"He was here for 2 hours and only ate 3 bowls! Plus, that guy was really hitting on him. I'm surprised he didn't molest him on the floor! I was kinda grateful when they left. People were really staring at them…"

Fear filled Sasuke's core. Some guy was hitting on **HIS** Naruto! And not only was Naruto letting him but left with him willingly? No! Naruto was his! His damn it!

"Do you know where they went?" Sasuke asked, barely keeping his anger in check.

"The guy was saying something about the sake house because it was his birthday."

Sasuke ran toward the sake house on the other side of town, anger filling his veins with every step. Some guy was going to get the kitsune liquored up and take advantage of **HIS** Naruto! He'd just see about that. If anyone was going to take advantage of Naruto, it was him!

'_Wait… his birthday? No. It couldn't be… He wouldn't come here, would he?'_

But then he remembered the way Itachi looked at Naruto last time he was with him and every other time before that.

'_Argh! He would do it!'_

Sasuke turned into a dark alleyway to cut across town faster. When Kisame stepped into his path, all doubt was removed. Itachi was going to molest Naruto!

"You!"

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. Where do you think you're going?"

"You know exactly where I'm going!"

"Sorry brat, but I can't let you do that. Itachi wants some 'quality time' with Naruto-kun." The nasty shark-man smirked.

"Quality time, my ass!" Sasuke shouted, "He just wants to get him drunk and have his way with him!"

"Well, I'd say that's pretty much a given… after all, you want to do it too." Kisame's smirk widened along with Sasuke's eyes. "Oh yes, I've been watching you since this afternoon. It's been quite… educational." The nasty shark-man laughed tauntingly.

Sasuke blushed madly as realized he had been found out. And because it had been by Kisame, he knew that Itachi would be the first know about it. That bastard would never let him live it down! He'd taunt him and say stuff like, '_Foolish little brother… don't you know that you can't resurrect the clan like that? I thought for sure they would teach you that in Health Education; if not there then definitely from Kakashi!'_

He couldn't let that happen! Kisame was going to have to die! It'd be an excellent warm-up before he took on Itachi and killed him not for the clan but for trying to molest **HIS** Naruto! Sasuke scowled as he charged at Kisame. This wouldn't take long. Compared to Itachi, Kisame was a sucky wanna be. The fists flew as Kisame blocked and continued to taunt and anger our poor little avenger.

"Hahahaa! You hit like a girl… Sasuke-**CHAN**! But then you look like a girl too! I think blue is probably your color; a nice dark one. I'll be sure to tell Itachi to get you nice blue dress for your birthday this year!"

Sasuke threw a vicious punch to Kisame's head, only to be blocked again. Sasuke growled in frustration. Damn it! It wasn't supposed to happen like this! He was supposed to beat Kisame into the ground and turn him in to sushi! And then he was supposed to laugh in triumph at how foolish Kisame was to think he could beat him as he stepped over his corpse. This asshole was ruining everything! At this rate, Itachi was not only going to molest this precious Naruto but he was going to be able to do it several times over!

Three hours had passed since the fight began and poor Sasuke was still being blocked! Suddenly and oh so conveniently, Neji entered the alleyway.

"Hey Uchiha, what the hell are you doing?"

Actually Neji didn't really care. But he thought it would be the polite thing to do. After all, Naruto had told him he should try to be nicer because he wasn't really such a bad guy. Neji thought it would make the kitsune happy. And he wanted to make Naruto happy so he would like him more… yes, in that way. Well, that and he didn't really feel like going home.

Hiashi had been bitching at him lately. Telling him to clean his room and that he should start dating; because finding someone good enough to produce him an heir would not be easy with his personality, issues and attitude problems. Hiashi would have kittens if he found out not only did he not like girls, but he has had a major thing for Naruto for the past two and a half years. So, stalling was a good thing; even if it was with an Uchiha.

"What the hell does it look like?" Sasuke bellowed as he threw another blow.

"Looks like you're losing… but then it is to be expected since you suck so much. After all, you took off with that nasty snake-man."

Yes, even to this day, he hadn't forgiven him for the incident 3 years ago. Not for betraying the village and joining up with Orochimaru - screw the village; but for nearly killing Naruto in the process. Even with the Kyuubi, it took a long time for him to heal up. If it hadn't been for that accursed fox, Naruto would most definitely be dead. So, Neji refused to forgive him for trying to kill Naruto out of a lust for power.

"Shut up, Hyuuga!" Sasuke threw another punch and a roundhouse kick, "I don't have time for your crap! Itachi's going to molest Naruto!"

"What!"

"You heard me!"

Neji's byakugan flared to life as he set about closing all of Kisame's chakra points and making them overload. Kisame passed out on the ground within minutes. Nobody was going to molest **HIS** Naruto but him!

"Where the hell is that pervert brother of yours? I'll kill him!" Neji screeched.

"No, I'll kill him!" Sasuke shouted as he ran toward the sake house, "He's going to get him liquored up and take advantage of him!"

Neji followed after the stupid Uchiha, "How do you know?"

"The ramen guy told me…" And Sasuke told a stunned Neji everything the ramen guy had said.

"He must have him under some genjutsu!" Neji shouted as began to run faster. "He might think he's with Sakura…" jealousy burned at Neji's and Sasuke's hearts at that thought. Little did the either boy know that they were sharing the same thought.

'Stupid, big foreheaded twit; what does she have that I haven't got?'

**-x-x-x-x-**

As the hours had ticked by, the sake had flowed. Even though he'd only had three cups of it, Naruto had a heady buzz going. His eyes looked sleepy and his cheeks had a rosy hue because he was so warm. Itachi was enthralled. Yes, this was going to be the best birthday he'd had in a long time! Even better than the first one he spent without his meddlesome parents.

Throughout the night he had inched closer and closer to the kitsune without any resistance until finally he had thrown his arm around the kawaii fox and started kissing him again with a new vigor. At first the boy was too shocked to move but he quickly followed Itachi's lead when he felt him caress his lower lip. Opening his mouth, Itachi's tongue plunged in quickly as he pulled the fox boy into his lap. Naruto's arm automatically slung itself around Itachi's neck, deepening the kiss as Itachi tasted every inch of his mouth; caressing it, savoring it.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity they pulled apart, panting to catch their breath. Naruto's head swam with conflicting feelings and emotions. On one hand, he knew what he was doing was definitely wrong. Itachi wasn't just a wanted man; he was an S-ranked missing nin! He was Sasuke's brother; the boy he was in love with! He was also the one who murdered his whole family and seriously warped Sasuke for all time!

And yet, the way he spoke to him; the way he touched him… the things he was doing to him felt so damn… **GOOD**! No one had ever done that to him and it made all his logic fly happily out the window. Being here with Itachi, the most wanted man in the Leaf, was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. It was exciting, forbidden and sensual. Wanting more, Naruto shifted his position so that he was facing Itachi as he straddled his lap and this time took the initiative as he held onto Itachi's face.

**(edited out, out of fear of the ffnet nazi's)**

Itachi moved Naruto off his lap and stood up. Naruto had an adorable and confused look on his face. Once again, Itachi fought off the urge to drool and extended his hand to the kitsune.

"Where are we going now?"

"We're going to go look for my puppy. I think I saw him go into this cheap hotel room across the street."

"You have a puppy? Ano… why would he go into a cheap motel?"

Itachi wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry at Naruto's innocent and dense nature.

"Why don't we go see?"

Itachi pulled Naruto close as he led him out of the sake house to the conveniently placed cheap motel across the street. As they headed to Itachi's room, Naruto diligently kept an eye out for Itachi's puppy. They entered the dark room and Itachi locked the door behind them before turning on a lamp next to bed.

"Come to me, Naruto…"

Obediently, Naruto crossed the room to stand before Itachi. Nervous but excited as butterflies flitted around his stomach; he was eager to see what else Itachi had in store for him. He said it was new pleasure but how can anything feel better than what they had done in the sake house! He had to know. Itachi nuzzled his neck again as he began to remove Naruto's loud orange jacket and standard ninja fishnet shirt. When the obstructive material was removed, Itachi gently lowered Naruto onto the bed.

"Don't be scared…" Itachi said when Naruto shook, "I promise, you will enjoy this."

Naruto nodded and was rewarded with another searing kiss. Suddenly he began rocking and rubbing his hips into Naruto. When Itachi moved his mouth to his neck, Naruto gasped and joined into the rocking pace Itachi had started.

**-x-x-x-x-**

Sasuke and Neji finally made it to the sake house and ran inside in search of their beloved kitsune. Looking around they couldn't see anything. His brain finally kicking into gear, Neji used his byakugan to scan the room.

"They're not here."

"Then where the hell are they?"

Spotting the bartender, Sasuke grabbed his arm to face him. Because the man was at least a head taller than him, he grabbed the man's collar and pulled him down to his eye level.

"Where's Naruto?" he growled.

"Huh?"

"Naruto. Where is he?" Sasuke yelled, his anger level rising quickly.

"I don't know who you're talking about!"

"A short, blonde boy with blue eyes. He was in here with another man!"

"Oh! Them! They _finally_ left about 30 minutes ago."

"Where did they go?"

"I heard the tall guy say something about going to find a lost puppy in that cheap motel across the street. But after the show they put on, I doubt that's what they're doing now."

"Show? What do you mean?" Neji asked.

"They were all over each other! Kissing and groping; they were loud too… well the little one was! But then, the tall guy was the one doing practically all the work… Everyone here is pretty much shit-faced but I still had to serve them so I got an eyeful… especially before they left! They really should have been doing _that_ in a room!"

"What do you mean by _that_?" Sasuke growled as panic filled him.

"You know, um… foreplay. If it went any further, the tall guy would have been fucking the kid on the table! The only thing that kept them from really making a scene was the fact that everyone is kinda shit-faced and they were in a dark corner… thank god."

"Oh god!" Neji and Sasuke whispered and ran out the door to the cheap motel across the street.

As they ran down the halls Neji scanned the rooms looked for his beloved kitsune.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(edited out, out of fear of the ffnet nazi's)**

**-x-x-x-x-**

As Sasuke and Neji ran down the halls searching for their kitsune, a loud cry of pleasure shook the very walls.

"Ooooooh GOD!"

'_Nooooooooooooo!'_ They screamed mentally.

"Naruto!"

Neji scanned and finally caught sight of Naruto laying under a very happy Itachi just 5 doors down.

"They're in there!"

The two barreled down the hall and broke down the door. The two stumbled over each other as they tried to enter the room. Itachi lifted himself up slightly from his very comfortable position over Naruto to look behind him. Damn it! Naruto was about to return the favor and now these two had blown that all to hell. Itachi cursed Kisame for his ineptitude.

"Foolish little brother." Itachi muttered, annoyed beyond words. "I see you brought a girlfriend. Go away and get your own room."

"Itachi! You sick fuck! What do you think you're doing? Get off of him now!" Sasuke yelled, his sharingan coming to life.

"If you don't mind, Naru-chan and I are busy. So be a good little boy and go away."

"What did you do to him?" Neji yelled.

"Not nearly as much as I wanted to and certainly nothing he didn't want himself. Now move along, so we can continue. Naru-chan gets shy in front of an audience."

**(edited out, out of fear of the ffnet nazi's)**

"See, he likes it…" Itachi kissed Naruto's exposed neck.

Enraged, Sasuke threw a kunai at Itachi's head which he easily dodged.

"Foolish little brother. Is that anyway to treat me on my birthday? Naru-chan's been helping me celebrate by granting some wishes. Why don't you grant one and go away?"

"It's not your birthday anymore, you asshole! It's after midnight. And even if it wasn't I still wouldn't let you violate Naruto!"

"I'd hardly call it violating. After all, Naru-chan isn't just a willing partner but an active participant too. Aren't you Naru-koi?

'_Koi? Koi! He called **MY** Naru-chan, **KOI**! I'll murder him!' _Neji and Sasuke both shouted mentally.

Naruto's glazed eyes widened as he soon realized what sort of situation he was in. If he said yes, Itachi would be very happy. But Sasuke and Neji would freak out! Not just because he was with a guy but because of who that guy is! If he said no, Itachi would not be a happy little birthday boy and he'd never get to know what else he could do to him and make him feel. But saying no would also save his face since he had to stay in the village. His life was hard enough without adding this to it. But then Itachi had wanted him to come with him. So he could say yes with out having to worry what the village or anyone for that matter thought.

"I-I-I…"

"Naruto, snap out of it! Itachi has you under some kind of genjutsu!"

"Huh?"

"Sigh. It looks like you aren't going to leave me alone. Naru-chan, I'm sorry but it looks like our fun is at an end," Naruto blinked and Itachi whispered into his neck so no one else could hear, "But I'll be back next year for my birthday. And we can pick-up where we left off. Look forward to it as much as I do, koi."

Itachi gave one last kiss and disappeared from the room, leaving a very flustered and half naked Naruto on the bed. When he noticed that both Neji and Sasuke were staring at his unrequited member, he blushed and pulled the covers across his lap.

"Naruto, are you alright?" Neji asked "We heard… noises." Neji blushed.

"Itachi didn't hurt you or anything, did he?" Sasuke looked absolutely murderous. "Can you stand?"

"I'm fine. No harm done. Really." Naruto looked flustered and nervous.

"If you're sure…"

"What was the last thing you remember?"

Naruto felt panic fill him again. He had to come up with a story and fast! Itachi was gone, so he couldn't leave with him. What would they say and do if they found out there was no genjutsu; that it was something he did willingly and gladly? Sasuke was self-centered. He could say the last thing he remembered was the stupid and hot Uchiha's face this afternoon. Yes!

"Last thing I remember was your stupid face this afternoon… and I think I went to the ramen shop." Naruto lied. Having a pathological liar for a teacher was actually helpful.

"So you don't remember what happened at the ramen stand or sake bar?" Neji asked.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You don't remember Itachi trying to molest you?"

"Itachi? Why would he do that?" Wow, this lying thing was easy. No wonder Kakashi did it all the time.

"Don't worry about it. You're fine now. What happened here, won't leave the room. As for the ramen stand and sake bar, we'll figure something out." Neji put a hand on his Naru-chan's shoulder to try and comfort him.

Sasuke seethed and boiled on the inside. How dare the white eyed freak touch his Naruto! Just who did he think he was? Stupid Hyuuga's think they own the world…

"Here. You should get dressed." Sasuke handed him his shirt and jacket before turning around to give him some privacy.

Neji followed the Uchiha's cue and turned around as well. Quickly and numbly, Naruto put his clothes on and put 'little Naruto' back into his pants. Unknown to everyone in the room, just out the window the older Uchiha watched on amused.

When Naruto got up and left the room with Sasuke and Neji, he left to collect that idiot, Kisame. He was so close to getting him some kitsune loving… but at least he got to have some fun until that little brat came and ruined it all. Now that he thought about it, Sasuke ruined a lot of things. He ruined his favorite kunai when the little punk had borrowed it to practice so he could be as good as his aniki. And he was constantly hanging around begging for attention.

Before his next birthday, he was going to have to dispose of the little git or he'd never get any kitsune loving. Yes, his next birthday… Naru-chan will be his and then he could rub it into the little brats face. And then Sasuke would cry and throw himself off a cliff in misery and loss. Wow, that'd even be a better birthday than this year.

After about 10 minutes, he finally came across an unconscious Kisame. Sigh. It looked like his chakra had been turned back on itself. No doubt the Hyuuga kids' handiwork. Damn it. There was no good reason for him to help his little brother unless… yes, there was another after his sweet Naru-chan's heart. He'd have to dispose of him too. Yes, yes he would.

"Wake up you idiot." Itachi kicked the stupid shark-man with his toe. "Wake up!" Itachi kicked him again.

"I wanna ride the pony…" Kisame murmured as he rolled on to his side. "Oh and there are giraffe's too!"

Obviously annoyed at this point, especially since his night of kitsune loving was shot to hell; Itachi kicked Kisame in the stomach and then brought his heel down hard when he rolled onto his back.

"I said wake up!"

Kisame shot up into an upright sitting position.

"Itachi-sama! Did you…?"

"It's time to go Kisame."

Kisame got to his feet and followed the still horny Itachi. Kisame didn't dare say another word until they were outside Konoha's borders.

"So… how did it go?"

"Sasuke and the Hyuuga brat interrupted my fun." Itachi glared at Kisame, "You were supposed to keep them away… well Sasuke away."

"I tried, but after three hours that white-eyed freak showed up and when he found out what you were going to do to the Kyuubi kid, he got pissed and helped him out!"

"As I suspected. I have more competition. Next year will be different though."

"Next year? What are we going to do next year, Itachi-sama?"

"The same thing I'm going to do every year, for now on… try to get into Naruto's pants!"

"Oh… well, sorry your birthday was shot to hell this year."

"Technically it wasn't, as my foolish little brother was so kind to point out."

"What do you mean?"

"The little punks didn't interrupt until well after midnight so technically my birthday had already passed. And even though I didn't get everything I wanted, I'm still happy with what I did get." Itachi smirked as he remembered every touch and caress and heated kiss, "And next year will be better because I will get what I wished for."

Kisame smirked, "I thought wishes were for fools?"

"Shut up, Kisame. Besides, it doesn't apply when we're talking about my little Naru-chan…" Itachi glared at the stupid shark-man.

"Uh, yeah… hey, you wanna know what Sasuke does while he's training?"

"No."

"Trust me, you'll want to hear this!" Kisame laughed. "Not only does he talk to himself, he makes shadow bushin of you and Naruto…" And so Kisame told Itachi everything that he'd seen and heard.

Itachi was quiet for a few moments before speaking. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

His little brother recognized his own feelings for his too kawaii for his own good, Naru-chan! And was doing a damn good job of keeping it hidden! Damn. Damn him to the seventh level of hell! Naru-chan would be his! And just who did he think he was, making a shadow of him beg for forgiveness. He'd show him how to really beg next year!

"Cry? You're the biggest bad ass on the planet! You don't cry!"

Itachi glared at Kisame.

"But then again, you can do whatever you want… so you wanna get Sasuke a pretty dress for his birthday?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. With lots of ruffles and petticoats…"

And off into the rising sun the sexy, little bad ass know as Uchiha Itachi went with that stupid shark-man that Itachi seemed cursed with plotting for Sasuke's birthday and his for next year. Yes, next year.

**The End?**

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Well, there you have it! My Itachi b-day fic. Tee hee! Okay, go forth and review! Reviewers get my love and adoration. **:genki smile:**

Naruto: What, no standard plushie bribe?

Chris: Shush! I don't have anything ready. **:glare:**

Itachi: I have an idea…

Chris: Those sort of ideas aren't allowed here. **:death glare:**

Itachi: Oh fine. Be that way. See if **_I _**care.

* * *

**Note to PMS Readers**

Okay, those of you who have been reading PMS… this is who Naruto was reminded of. Yes that's right, Naruto was thinking of Itachi. After all, Itachi is the only guy he's ever kissed like **_that_**. Naruto's first kiss doesn't count because… well, neither of them were very happy about it at the time and there was no tongue action. What a pity, eh?


End file.
